Deserts, by nature, are dry, dusty, perilous, and without visual borders.
Deserts are hostile to life. Resources are scarce. Life in the desert is hard. Few of us choose to enter a desert, but sometimes the Lord calls us aside into one. We find ourselves experiencing a sudden pause in the harmony of our lives, squinting our eyes at life, trying to adjust to the unrecognizable topography.
My second husband, Don, had given me a new life (a story I tell more about in Stones in the River). Together we’d experienced love, hope, faith, and family bond. But eventually, we too, found ourselves walking hand in hand into the desert after receiving the news of his cancer. It was the early 2000 ’s and I had just spent the previous nine months studying the life of Moses in BSF and realized that God had once again gone before me, into uncharted territory.
The Lord had prepared our steps.
“As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you.
Be strong and courageous.”—Joshua 1:5-6
The Dependence of the Desert
God has given clear instruction about how to survive a desert journey.
We are to stick close to the Lord, not be anxious to see too far ahead, nor fear the next step, nor be too eager to choose the path, nor be weighted down with heavy belongings.
We are to have no fear of the future, but quietly follow behind the Shepherd, one step at a time. There is to be no murmuring or complaining, only obedience. We are to be dependent on God to sustain us daily in His Word as He provides the manna we need, one day at a time. So, into the desert we went, never dreaming this stone would require a seven-year journey.
I felt led to share our desert story in detail and added it as a chapter in my book Stones in the River, but for now, let me share with you the last memories of that season.
“On this journey of courage, long the way may seem; there is not one inch too much. I, the Lord am not only with you on the journey, I planned and am planning your way. There are joys unspeakable along the way.”—God Calling, March 21
Oh What a Firm Foundation
As we were driving one beautiful, sunny day, Don pointed out an enormous, fluffy, white cloud, hovering between two mountainsides.
“Honey, look at that cloud. I see a cloud just like it there most days from our living room window about this time.” After a thoughtful pause, he continued. “When you see that cloud, Jo, I want you to take heart and remember how much I love you, now and forever.”
He could see I was swallowing back tears. “When I’m no longer here with you,” he whispered, “I want you to be strong. Be strong and courageous, Honey. You needn’t be afraid, because you know I will be with the Lord. You can rely on the Lord’s presence and comfort with you. Will you promise me you’ll do that?”
Don knew that my life’s hope wasn’t secured in him. My foundation couldn’t be built around one man or even one family. It had to be in the Lord, first and fully, to support and uplift and redeem.
Mail Mishaps
That winter, Don was frail and fragile but wanted to help me in any way he could so as not to be a burden.
I had stayed up late one night addressing our Christmas card envelopes. I wanted to have everything stamped, addressed and ready to simply stuff the envelopes in the morning and drop them in the mail. Exhausted, I fell into bed at 2:30 am, happy to have everything ready to go.
On my way home from work the next day, I picked up the imprinted cards. Following dinner, I eagerly sat down to add a short note to each card, especially for out-of-town friends.
“Honey, where are all those envelopes I had sitting on the table?” I called.
“Oh, Richard took me for lunch, so I sealed all the envelopes for you and dropped them off at the post office so they could go out today! I wanted to surprise you!”
I resisted my impulse to have a meltdown and replied, “Well, yes, it will be quite a surprise for everyone to receive an empty envelope for their Christmas greeting!”
And that is how a hidden blessing arrived.
At least half of our friends who received those stamped, empty, sealed envelopes called us to report the mystery of the missing card. Don had a good laugh reconnecting with old friends who called about what had happened.
More importantly, he was encouraged and blessed by each person who called. Some blessings come to us quietly in the desert.
Loves and Losses
Two months later, calls were made to our family to come to the hospital. Don had fallen with a severe TIA one morning while we were having morning coffee. He never spoke after his surgery. After everyone had arrived, we all circled around his bed to sing songs the children knew—“Jesus Loves Me,” “This Little Light of Mine,” and others.
The nurse bathed him, anointed him with oil, and replaced the hospital gown with fresh, blue pajamas I had brought for him from home—ocean blue. She had placed white, fluffy pillows all around him.
As I looked at his frail body through the tears, I was reminded of blue sky and the giant, white cloud Don had pointed out for me.
I remembered the promise I had made to trust God through the storm that was about to come. As I held Don’s hand, I leaned into God’s faithfulness.
One of life’s greatest pains—and privileges—is to walk with someone we love to the threshold of death—that moment when their soul leaves their physical body and takes flight to Heaven with Jesus. No matter how long it takes, we are never ready. The journey together ends all too quickly.
I had kept my Bible close while staying day and night with Don in the hospital, making notes in the margin of the last five days of our journey together. The evening of his passing, my Bible was bookmarked on this Psalm.
It was like a final kiss.
“Wait for the Lord;
Be strong, and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.”—Psalm 27:14
The desert looks different for each and every person. This season of life was my journey; yours will be different, but deserts will come.
Take heart, my friend. It is only for a season.
God will use it to accomplish His work within you. A desert journey brings us to the end of ourselves, emptying our self-reliant hearts and refilling us with God’s truths and His immeasurable gifts of comfort and grace.
“Faith is not given to those who are either undisciplined or disobedient.
Faith is a Gift of God which is given to those who trust and obey Him. As we master His Word and obey His commands, our faith continues to grow.
Every time you and I open and read God’s Word, carefully, we are building up our storehouse of faith.”— Bill Bright, Founder, Campus Crusade for Christ
